Stress is as common to the human experience as death and taxes. Every year we spend millions of dollars trying to find ways to fight stress, but what happens when the things we do to deal with stress stop working? Below are some simple and proven techniques to help you if you are feeling overwhelmed.
Stress is defined as a physical and emotional reaction to events when a person feels pressured or threatened. Stressors range from everyday events such as bad traffic, difficult coworkers, or grouchy kids to the top stressors of loss of a loved one or loss of a job. Surprisingly, good things can bring about stress as well. Moving and marriage are among the top ten most stressful events.
Here are some signs that your stress level has become unmanageable:
•Your ways of coping are no longer working or they’re beginning to take over your life.
•You feel sad most of the time.
•You are easily angered and feel irritated most of the time.
•Physical symptoms like aches and pains, stomach problems, or frequent colds become the “norm”.
•You are having difficulty remembering things or concentrating.
If you can identify with any of these signs, it may be time to examine how you are handling all the stress in your life. First let’s look at some immediate solutions to overcome the symptoms of stress.
First - Breath
When you find yourself thinking about all you have to do and you begin to feel overwhelmed, the best thing you can do is breath. It sounds simple, but the act of taking a few moments to pay attention to your breath automatically helps calm you down. You can do this through a couple of techniques. The first is called “Four Square Breathing”. This is where you inhale for the count of 4, you hold your breath for the count of 4, you exhale for the count of 4, and then you wait for the count of 4. Just count naturally and let your body fall into a rhythm. I also recommend you learn the breathing technique used in yoga. This is where you drag the breath along the back of the throat. As you inhale through your nose, feel like the breath is coming in through your nose, flowing along the back of your throat and filling up your lower stomach, then slowly exhale through your nose allowing the breath to take the same path to leave your body.
Second – Take Time Out
If you find yourself irritated, anxious or overwhelmed, give yourself a five minute break or more if you can. Use this time to focus on the good things in your life, think about a special relationship, a recent vacation, or something you enjoy. You can also go for a quick walk. Moving your legs is the best way to diffuse angry feelings and get rid of nervous energy.
Third – Write it Down
In one column make a list of everything that is overwhelming you. The list can include tasks, people, difficult situations, and anything else that comes to mind. Next to that put a column titled “What I can Do”. Now go through the list and identify the steps you can take to solve each problem. Remember, that you only have the power to change your behavior. If your problem is a coworker, you cannot make your coworker treat you better, however, you can choose to change how you treat your coworker and set limits on what you will tolerate. Our greatest power in life is our choices and even when we appear to be trapped in a situation, we always have the choice to change the way we think about it or react to it.
Last - Prioritize
Now that you have your list prioritize what comes first. I like to start by labeling things with letters. “A” is for the things that cannot wait, “B” is for the things that need to be done, but are not urgent, etc… Then go back and number each letter category accordingly, using “1” as the most urgent. Also, you should weed out the “shoulds”. Most of us have expectations we place on ourselves that are so high they are often unrealistic. Challenge some of your list by questioning “who says I should do this”? Find out if it’s really what you want to do or is it something someone else thinks you “should” do. Eliminate any “shoulds” you can, or at least move them down the list a bit.
These are simple steps, but can be powerful to combat every day stress that has become overwhelming. If the situation you are facing is be beyond these techniques, please e-mail me and let me know how I could help, or find a professional counselor to talk to who can offer you specific solutions for what you are going through. Don’t face it alone, you don’t have to live feeling bad all the time, there is a way to a better more peaceful life.
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